Let me see your smile
by memoir of the lost
Summary: she smiles for the world to accept the inferiority that she is, but will she be able to hide forever? even after her heart has been trampled by the one she loves the most?.Sakura's story..[SakuxNeji in future chapters!]
1. It started with my words

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto but I do own this story.**

**Author's note: The following passage is a reedited entry from a past xanga entry I had made a while back. As I read my entry it became clear to me the pain and desperation I had shrouded myself with...looking for "inspiration" for a new story, my mind and my heart decided to integrate the following installation as a part of the story thatI (hopefully) conjure. Besides, it provides for a better release from tension and depression as opposed to jumping off a bridge when no one's looking. So, bits and pieces of my life are to going to be added into this story (carefully blended in by changing names and scenarios and such) but...hopefully...and I sincerely hope...**

**that none of you mind.**

**with much thanks and appreciation,**

**---Ayu---**

* * *

**Chapter one: It started with my words...**

Dear Friend,

Nowadays I notice that people only focus on problems that mostly concern the region that hit closest to our hearts... it consumes us and drives us into insanity...

Love.

My former self would have thought that such a thing was a matter best discussed by all humans…one that is of great importance for humanity's sake…

But now… I find myself disgusted by such trivial pursuits…

But…

Sometimes I wish that my life...my problems...my own insanity were only caused by such trivial pursuits... sadly...my tribulations expand a wider range of misery that for a long time has been kept buried and undetected by human senses...

Buried underneath my deceiving smiles…my fake laughter…and fabricated happiness…

Deep down I hide the scars from the world…deep down I hide them underneath the joy and exuberance I willingly portray in front of my audience….

But deep down, when the moonlit sky is the only thing that greets me to my wake…when the rest of the world slumbers in tranquility… I open the chests and caverns of my miserable reality…

And count each scar that taints my body…my mind…my soul…

I count each as a solemn prayer…a lullaby of persistent memories that sing me to an undisturbed existence…

With each count I again feel the pain…

The humaneness…

The reality…

The longing

The guilt…

The regret…

The unworthiness…

And thus I establish my place in their lives—Sasuke, my father and the rest.

To them I am nothing. To my self I am nothing.

_Weak…annoying…insignificant…_

_I had another argument with the man I call my Father. _

A fight...a bickering...a discombobulated exchange of emotions...although he was doing most of the exchanging...

despite my best interest I muttered accursed words beneath my breath and he accused me of it... and he was right...

_He has always been right_...

Just like the rest of them…he had always been right about me.

Judged me accordingly… The way a father should.

**Sakura Haruno**

**18**

**Useless…**

**Incompetent…**

**Annoying…**

_**Weak…**_

So I cursed under my breath…barely audible enough for him to hear…

I know it was foolish of me... but it's become a habit of mine...

Ever since the day **he** had called me annoying…

Ever since the day he had said his farewell…and had expressed his "gratitude"

Sasuke, the boy that I had loved so long ago….

Ever since his departure from my home…my grasp…my heart…I have built up hope within me…hope that soon he would come back…hope that was confirmed the day he strode back into Konoha's gates…

But since that day, the blooming love I held for him dissipated with his increased refusal… he had denied me once more…scoffing at my love…shrugging at my care…scowling at my weakness…disgusted by my heart…

And to this…

I finally realized…

Through his eyes…

Through my father's gaze…

That I will always be

_Unworthy…_

And so I no longer cared what happened to me… the love I once had within me disappeared into the vastness of my tormented inferiority.

My father was right…just as he always was.

After all… Sasuke was an Uchiha…the genius… the _avenger_…

Even if he had strayed away from Konoha's law…he was still…Uchiha, Sasuke…

What right had I to claim myself worthy enough for him?

When even in my father's eyes…

Even in my eyes…

_I am nothing…_

And so…my father's rant ensued…

And all I could do…was remain numb…cold and uncaring…

And I wondered…

When had I transformed into this hollow piece of flesh known as 'Sakura?'

I despise my name…

The thought of being called something so gentle…so innocent…so goddamn weak makes my blood boil to no ends…

So I stared at him with cold uncaring eyes…

Eyes that **_he_ **has always been so quick to unleash on me…

So he hit me... the same way he had countless of nights before…ever since the day I decided to be a Shinobi…ever since the day my mother had left me to forever be enslaved by my father…

Every word that flowed out of his mouth...though cruel were words of truth...all of them

He's right. About… me

Even if I had spent the past 6 years denying it...he's still right.

And so I have become an uncaring, cold hearted, ungrateful, wasted piece of human flesh

So he hit me... again and again…each strike never wavered in intensity…even as I felt him pant for air…sweat trickling down his frame…he kept on hitting…each strike each blow. Each time…one memory until the next…and yet I never screamed…I never could…

All I could do was hide behind my smiles…each time…

I had already lost my hope for Sasuke's love…hope that has guaranteed my survival from another tormenting night from my father's abuse…

Now, now that he has finally rejected me…my soul…labeled as "unworthy"

All I have left…are my smiles…g_od how I hate my smile…_

Every night I'd receive a proper "flogging" from my father, but I know that I deserved it…I am an insignificant speck in the cosmos after all. Ever since childhood I've received these intense corporal punishments that it has become somewhat of a daily routine in exchange for a few mischievous childish nonsense...In essence...I wasn't allowed to be _that much of a child _at a young age...I was born an adult.

I grew up to my parents fighting  
I grew up with scars on my back from being hit by Tou-san  
I grew up listening toOka-saan cry at night  
I grew up watching intently at my mother as she popped another pill in her mouth and locked herself in her room not to emerge for a week or two...wondering if she were still alive.  
I grew up having a father who lived in another dimension  
I grew up with a father who sacrificed his own child to escape his problems  
I grew up watching my father drink himself into oblivion  
I grew up waiting hours upon hours in the depth of night waiting for him stammering home drunk...and high

I grew up and watched my mother turn her back on me as my father only continued to ignore…

At least… outside where the rest of the world existed… I was known…

**As Sakura Haruno**

**18**

**Cheerful**

**Intelligent**

**Skillful medic**

**Konoha's cherry blossom…**

But little did they know…

That all my life… I grew up…_alone… unwanted… inferior…_

I never quite understood why...

Why my mother had left…

Why my Father had treated my this way…

Why Sasuke could never accept the love I gave him…

Why I was always so weak…

Why I always allowed myself to cry…

Why I would watch as the blood trickled from my wounds…watch them all spill freely upon my flesh each night…

Why I believed that no one really cared…

And why… I would always hide all these from the world.

… But because of it I became uncaring... I would go to bed at night wondering why I was the way I was... and voices would repeat chants within me..._"incompetent fool...defect...defect...insignificant...unwanted... invisible...nobody" _these words repeated so often that they became my nightly lullaby... It wasn't only in my head that I heard these words...No, because_they _had said it…Sasuke had said it…my father had said it…and before my departure…my Mother had said it as well…

So I tried my best to compensate for what I lacked and indulged my knowledge into academics…but still...every time I received a high award for a noble deed or for surpassing intellect I was scorn only to be defiantly judged by saying _"she only got those grades cause her dad's friends with Sensei..." O_r better yet..._"She has no talent. That's why her mother left…she saw through the disguise…" _All my accomplishments only made me feel more of a defect...tossed and teased at school for being _different_…born with an "abnormal" forehead…and still I held it all in with a smile… shrugged it all aside until I became the topic of yesterday's news… soon everyone forgot the shy pink forehead girl… and as they forgot…life became "normal" once more… I mingled with people…chatted with acquaintances…and soon found myself within range of normal life with normal friends…even when abuse still greeted me within the confines of my home…I still had this fake identity to turn back to…

But all that is gone now…

Gone with my confidence…my love…

Gone with my father's acceptance…

Gone with his heart…

All thrown away into the pitfalls of nothing…

**I am Sakura Haruno**

**Unsuccessful former student of the famous Hatake, Kakashi**

**Current dispassionate apprentice of the Godaime**

**Konoha medic Nin…**

**Out shadowed by the vibrant Kyuubi, Naruto**

**Ostracized for her love by the genius Uchiha Sasuke**

**Abused for being a burden to her Father…**

**Abandoned as a nuisance by her Mother…**

**_And so this is I…_**

I could never compete…not with any of them…

I hid my talents...even from myself.

It wasn't that I had no friends...I just thought it was a waste of time dumping all this shit on them when I knew that they had problems of their own..._I hate being a burden._ But I still end up being one no less. So I mostly lived life alone...

And so the onslaught of judgments, criticisms I've received kept pouring as the years progressed...from my past with childhood names to being abandoned by mymother tobeing slapped and knocked into the wall by my father...to being labeled weak by the man I loved...

But out of the mass of confusion and hatred deep down I still held a sense of longing for a family...a homely warm love that I have always been waiting for in patience...warmth that I've only known for a few drops in time before it dissipated into thin air...

One that I have known as Team Seven…

So when I came to be a part of this unit, I saw it as my opportunity to start anew from a clean slate. So I did. And for the first time I smiled. I laughed. I formed bonds with people that I won't normally talk to... I pushed back my cold uncaring past and overlapped it with laughter and smiles...but who knew that I did such a horrible job in burying my past? I had been wrong about my smiles all along

So I guess...I'm still waiting… even when we are now all together once again…

And things seem to be normal from the surface…

But the reality is that I will always be set apart…

Because I choose to…because each night as I close my door…I would always be reminded of who I am…

My father is right nonetheless... right about who I was...and still am. I may have thought I escaped my demons when I had joined team seven…but I didn't. I'm still the same numb me...the only difference is that...I've been so good at being a hypocrite that I even convinced myself that I've changed...

And so he'd continue to pummel me into reality…reminding me of my tainted morality…

I should've gotten used to this by now...

But still...yet again

He was right...I am nothing more than a responsibility... the only reason why team seven and…why Sasuke had put up with me all these yearswas because…we were a team…and they _had _to… I am only a responsibility

An obligation...

_A burden._

And so the beating ended and he soon fell into slumber

Ipicked up the nearest kunai... walked into my room shut the door lay on my bed...and contemplated. I placed the knife above me and prepared to strike...I shut my eyes... heaved a sigh...

All I want is to make myself smile…_one last time…_

I only get in the way…

Besides...the only way to rid a problem is to exterminate the source.

So I plunged the knife...

x

x

x

x

x

x

And missed…

Instead of piercing my heart...it gashed the flesh of my shoulder.

_How pathetic..._

_I can't even kill myself properly..._

_How incompetent._

And from there I just let myself cry... even as I felt the blood trickle down the hem of my shirt...I didn't care..._this pain is nothing...nothing..._

I wanted to stop crying...

I blocked my tears...buried my face...nothing worked...mentally I cursed myself for being such a freak...a fool ...to stop crying... it didn't work... I slapped myself hard in the face... punched and bruised my arm...anything...to stop the tears...

I rummaged through my thoughts thinking of _someone_…_anyone…_ that I could talk to…

But I couldn't get myself to…

It was too late in the night…

And I hate being a burden to anyone…

I no longer shall be weak…

So I started writing this...

I guess you could call it my "escape"

Words are the only thing I have left that is _real_

I just wish…they were enough…

Enough to just take me away forever…

sincerely,

Sakura...

* * *

**btw.. sakura is just writing out her feelings...just to release the burden...so she's not actually writing to someone...**

**yea...if this thing turns out ok with reviews and emails and stuff ill continue it if not...then..i guess it's a one shot deal**

**sincerely,**

**ayu---**


	2. Mistake

**oooo**

**first off before I start this next chapter...**

**I would like to acknowledge the following ppl**

**Mr "C"I am truly sorry that the first chapter isn't exactly nejisaku...but I did specifially state in the summary that it comes in FUTURE CHAPTERS i.e. _after chapter ONE._ **

**and Mr. "Andrew loves anime" I appreciate you're gallant display of defending me...but..uhh...no fighting please --'''**

**Arigato.**

**now that, that's settled**

**on with the next chapter!**

**read and review please!**

**sincerely,**

**Ayu**

**

* * *

****Let me see your smile**

**Chapter 2**

**Mistake**

* * *

She had done it.

She had finally proven to all—her father, her team, her sensei and her love, Sasuke—her incompetence as a Shinobi…

…As a medic…

…As a human…

She had finally severed any hope she had for _his_ acceptance and now…

She had lost all and any hope or dignity she had left.

"Sakura-chan…don't feel bad… it wasn't your fault," reasoned Naruto as he sat next to her, lovingly placing an arm around her shoulder. He tried with all that he could muster to comfort the down-trotted girl before him. True, many times before **he** had screwed up on a mission but Naruto's resiliency never wavered and his confidence to rise from a situation could never be defeated. And so with every fault he committed he always found creative means to fight back either through his strength or through his limitless pride.

The girl resting on his arm however was someone of different origins. Though she had grown wiser, stronger with the equivalence of the Godaime's might and with skills that would surpass that of any and all the medic-nin beyond the region, Sakura's greatest flaw lay on her emotions…even through everything she'd been through, all the training and tribulation she still could not surpass her greatest foe—herself.

Where Naruto could so easily dismiss or rise above his mistakes, she could not. She'd scorn herself in inferiority…weak…incompetent…and unworthy…

All these ungodly traits seen within the eyes of the man she loved…

The man who had captivated her entire soul years ago in their youth…

The man with whom she pleaded her heart…

The man who rejected her countless of times…

Naruto could only coax any emotion out of the pink-haired kunoichi as her mind trailed off into the memories she'd locked away in her thoughts…

* * *

It had already been 2 years since Sasuke's return to Konoha. It had been a long and tremulous journey…but he was back…

Back to the village that had sheltered his shattered form…

Back to the team that had loved him as their own

Back to his best friend…

Back to their Sensei…

Back to all things familiar…

Back…to her…

And even with the time that separated the two young Shinobi, her love for him only grew stronger with each passing second. All her hopes were kept alive by his non-existent love for her…surely, there was no harm in a girl to dream in the "what-coud-be" that time and destiny alone could hold and harness.

Each night within the torrents of agony the same scenario would play.

'_Free me from my prison' _she'd chant within the chambers of her thoughts each time she'd close the door to what she called he "home" as she would let her body absorb the torment of her father's hatred…

Each strike…

Each blow…

Every scar…

And each cursed word that rolled from his malevolent tongue.

"**_Pathetic Bitch! An Uchiha will never give a damn about a pathetic fool like you!" _**He'd laugh delivering another painstaking blow that entwined with the mixture of smoke and alcohol of each night's sordid ambiance.

'_I deserve this…I **am** nothing… I **am **weak…' _she'd say…not letting the tears cascade down her face…Indeed, every night left her numb and cold hearted…and yet as the sun rose above the gates of her village…she'd greet each morning with a smile…

The smile that everybody loved…

The smile that everybody had suited her graceful features all these years…

The smile that had defined her as "Sakura" ...Konoha's Cherry Blossom ...for all these years…

Yet, no one knew why…why she'd smile so freely when the sun was in dominion of the world…but when the moon took hold of all the land's possession…

Her smiles no longer meant anything…

"**_I don't give a damn about you! You're mother never did…look where she is right now? Far the hell away from that pathetic face of yours!" _**her father would continue…**_ "She never gave a fuck about an insignificant mongrel like you…what makes you think that he will accept you for the fool that you are!" _**

And yet…

She would still smile…

"**_You are weak, stupid, ugly…unworthy… No damn wonder that Uchiha left…humph…No damn wonder you couldn't stop him before he did…even when you had the chance to…you damn stupid fool…look what it cost this village…you're nothing but a disgrace…bitch!" _**Another strike… **_"You think that now that he's back he'd still give a damn about you? Humph…you really are pathetic…yea…he's back…but he didn't come back for you…you vain incompetent excuse for a daughter!" _**Then he'd continue throughout the darkness of the night until sleep would take refuge within his sardonic form.

And yet… in front of the world…

She'd still smile…

And still…the night of Sasuke's departure…

No one knew why…

Why the brightest, most cheerful cherry blossom begged with all she could for Sasuke to stay…

Sure, they knew how much she adored the raven-haired youth.

But no one knew what her words had meant…

"_I have a family…I have friends…but with you gone…. I am…**alone**…"_

And still in front of the world…of team seven…of Sasuke…

She'd smile…

* * *

"Ne…ne Sakura-chan" shrugged the young kyuubi "Are you even listening to me?" he pried trying to stir the cherry-blossom out of her daze.

Throughout the years, Naruto's love for the kunoichi only enhanced his insatiable vivacity and exuberance for life and for his dream to one day become Hokage. Though the attraction he held for her had been subdued to a camaraderie between siblings, he would always live through his sworn promise of protecting her the best he could.

"Sakura-chan?"

The girl only stared off into space ignoring the worry emitting from her best friend's embrace.

It was her fault

Her fault that the mission was a disaster…

If she had only listened…

Then maybe… just maybe…

She would have won his respect… once and for all…

* * *

"_Sakura…stay here with the client…protect him by **all** means…no matter what happens…**stay here!**" shouted Sasuke as he bound forth fighting the invading nins together with Naruto._

_It had been a while… but this was the first mission Sasuke had been one since his return to Konoha…indeed; the Godaime was true to her word when she decided to reprimand the Uchiha for his departure…i.e. no missions for a while… but after much consent from Kakashi and the rest of team seven… he was once again allowed to take on a mission together with team seven…establishing the bond they had once more._

"_Hai!" replied Sakura as she took a defensive stance in front of their client._

_Their mission was simple enough, just escort a messenger safely back to the water country._

_But the journey alone proved to be paved with limitless attacks and traps looming in every corner. This battle was just one out of many that they have encountered so far._

"_Souzou-san, stay close…ok?" Sakura stated to the man behind her. The man she was ordered to protect._

_Far at a distance she could see the rest of team seven fight. Naruto using his shadow replication to subdue the rest of the hiding nin as Kakashi and Sasuke fought with those who freely attacked._

_Kunai knives could be seen whirling past each other… "Damnit" cursed Sasuke 'There's to many of them…' he threw another kunai at the enemy's bunshin clone. He knew the struggle would be hard…but Damnit this was getting annoying…_

_That's when he felt it…_

_His presence once again bubbling within him…_

_Orochimaru's curse was slowly taking control of his body…and from a distance…Sakura could only watch. Naruto and Kakashi were too busy to notice this change in Sasuke…if it should take hold of Sasuke completely…then…who knows what dangers would befall him…and everyone else around him…_

_She had a choice…and with little time to act… Sakura formed hand seals to enclose their client in a barrier as she left Souzou and rushed forth to the Uchiha's side. "Souzou-san…Gomenasai…" she said as she left the man to stand alone in his own defense._

"_Sasuke-kun!" she screamed as she saw Sasuke fall on his knees in pain…quickly placing him in her arms she released her chakra into his system—a technique taught to her by the Godaime if ever a situation such as this would arise. She used her chakra to block every possible chakra hole Sasuke had…and with that she performed a fluid set of hand seals and placing her hands upon Orochimaru's curse she sealed it with her own chakra therefore hindering the progress if it's control over Sasuke's body._

"_Sasuke-kun…" she breathed as she felt his body relax in her arms…_

"_Sakura…" he replied "…Souzou-san…where is he…?"_

_With his final words a shriek of pain came from behind them. Sakura's barrier had faltered and their client, Souzou now lay dead and bloodied upon the ground before them._

* * *

"Sakura-chan…"Naruto began as he felt her shift in his hold. "That Teme had no right to do that you know…you did the **right **thing…"

If she had done the right thing then why did it leave her empty and broken? Why had it left her with nothing but pain…and guilt?

* * *

"_I told you to **stay with the client!**" stormed Sasuke as he pushed Sakura up against at tree chakra flowing freely from his body in rage._

"_Sasuke! Enough! Stop it right now!" demanded Kakashi "Sasuke-teme! Let her go you fool! Is that how you thank someone from saving you?" Naruto added as Kakashi tried to push down Naruto from attacking the Uchiha._

"_Let her go you BAKA! She saved you!"_

_At this Sasuke calmed down and let his go of his grip on the frightened kunoichi. "Saved me eh?" he scoffed as he turned his back. "You really haven't changed Naruto…at least I can say you're strength has greatly increased…but you're still too much of an optimist…" he stated "As for you…Sakura" he continued as he turned his gaze over to the kunoichi before him…his eyes mixed in the qualities of disgust and pity "you haven't changed at all…you're still weak…and still **annoying…**" he sneered as he disappeared from sight._

"_Sakura…" Kakashi began "Are you hurt anywhere?"_

"_Huh? Oh…umm…no sensei I'm fine…see?" she smiled at both of them causing each to wonder in confusion. "Besides, I did disobey his order…so I guess…it's ok if he got mad…" she added her smile never faltering._

"_Sakura…"_

It wasn't until hours later upon their arrival that Naruto found the distressed Kunoichi alone. Sitting atop the railings of the bridge that was the gathering place for team Kakashi. She seemed so deep in thought that his exclamations of her name went unnoticed. Even as he tried every possible joke or gossip he heard from the village…nothing seemed to wake the cherry blossom from her thoughts.

Only when he had mentioned **_his _**name did she stir.

"Sasuke… had no right…and don't worry I've already told Tsunade-obachaan what he did…I'm sure she'd—" his words cut short.

"You didn't have to Naruto." Sakura stated firmly "It was _I_ that made the mission fail…If I had stayed with the client as he told me too…we would be in the water country right now with him still alive."

"But Sakura-chan…if you hadn't stopped the cursed seal from activating then maybe we would've—"

"NO…naruto…there is no excuse for what wrong I've done…Arigato…for trying to make me feel better…but it does not change the odds…" with that she showered Naruto with a rain of cherry blossoms and disappeared into the night…

'Why? Why do you always have do defend him when he hurts you? Sakura-chan…" Naruto sighed as he watched the kunoichi vanish from his sight.

* * *

The moon was already shining bright… and yet she was wide awake in remorse. She didn't feel like going back to her home just yet…surely her father had already heard the news of her failure…after all…news travels fast in this village…no doubt he was already there waiting…

Waiting to remind her once again of her incompetence…

So she decided to wait a few hours more…

She didn't feel like going home and facing her "fears" for she already went through the torment today as she walked into his eyes.

As her thoughts were still submerged within the day's events she found herself lying on the top of the Konoha gates gazing intently at the moon above…

'Tou-san…he's always right… Sasuke-kun will always hate me…'

'_I am nothing…'_

She took a kunai from her pouch and stared at it…the way the moon's light reflected off of its contours just allured her into the depths of her misery. Steadily raising the kunai above her she threw it at the sky above and as it fell she quickly caught it before it hit her face. Again she would do this…throwing it up into the air…waiting for its decent then catching it before it should hit her.

Little did she know that as she was performing this ritual a pair of eyes loomed not far in the distance…watching her intently as she would play with the kunai in her hands…throwing and catching it again with precision as her body lay still…her other arm stretched to her side and her hair flowed freely upon the cement that supported her body.

Her audience grew mesmerized by her act…wondering what would posses her to dare death in that way? After all, this was a girl that he had always seen smile upon the world before her…a girl with such a bubbly persona that contradicted his own…

Was that all perhaps a disguise?

He continued to watch as the kunai fell from the sky nearing the soft curves of her face…as it neared she let both her arms fall to her side waiting…waiting for the kunai to fall… at that moment he knew…

She had no intention in catching it…

So swiftly as his hands could allow him, he quickly released a kunai of his own throwing it against hers suddenly deflecting its path…

Freeing her from harm…

She didn't stir at this but instead kept her eyes on the sky…

"Why? Why would you not let me die?" she whispered

"Kunai are meant for battle Haruno-san…not suicide…" he stated as he emerged from the darkness and approached her immobile form.

She recognized the voice…one that she did not expect to hear…to say the least…expect to _save_ her…

"What are you doing here this late at night?" he asked

"I could ask you the same thing" she replied, still gazing above at the stars.

"It was my turn to keep guard at the gates tonight…"

"Ah…"

He neared her and sat near to where her head rested upon the pavement. "Why is it that you wish for death Haruno-san…?" he questioned, "You never struck me as the deep depressed brooding type…"

"Lesson number one…A shinobi must learn to see beyond deception…" she replied matter-of-factly…

"What is it that you are trying to hide?"

"…"

He looked over to her and found that sleep was slowly calling her.

"Gomenasai... Neji-san…I… cannot tell ….you…" she mumbled as she slowly fell into slumber.

* * *

**Preview: Next Chapter of "Let me see your smile"**

**Chapter 3**

**Right.**

**Neji Hyuuga:_ Tou-san...I don't understand... you never taught me why...why people seek death even when they drown in happiness...or is it perhaps, Tou-san...that happiness only comes to those who don't realize it's existence? Should the rest of us who realize it's deception forever be severed from ever tasting it's sensation?_**

**_Tou-san..._**

**_sometimes... I wish you were here to guide me to the answers..._**

**_The sky..._**

**_they no longer have any freedom... even for the birds..._**

* * *

**A.N:  
Chpt 2 down! yea... i guess I have decided to just keep writing until whenever.**

**REVIEW PLEASE! PLEEEEEEEEAAASE (and this time no fighting --''' let's all be friends )**


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